I was recently cast in a commercial where I acted as a Muslim woman. I had to dress in a traditional hijab (which is the scarf that covers your hair) and a traditional Muslim dress, which was actually quite lovely. The only thing I did not wear is an abaya (which is that black piece of fabric with just the slits for your eyes to see through).
For the casting I did one take with the abaya on and one without. My eye lashes (much like the eye lashes in the example picture I have loaded) where too long and kept whacking against the fabric with every blink- not very comfortable at all. The hijab is pulled tightly around your throat ensuring no skin or hair is seen besides the face, which is perfectly framed in fabric- I found this very uncomfortable, firstly because I am claustrophobic– not just a little bit, I hate taking lifts (but will if I have to) I cant seem to deep water dive, I hate small spaces, tunnels, I hate wearing anything tight round my neck. Despite my frustrating little claustrophobia, I challenge myself as much as possible, I will not be controlled by it, I shall squish it like a little bug! (No I don’t actually squish bugs, well except for flies and mosquito’s … and sack spiders, but only those I promise) So I am forcing myself to manage this frustrating discomfort by adorning myself with scarves as I love them and they are pretty and I shall feel comfortable wearing them! Even if I actually am not comfortable, 90% of the time, I will be! So there I was, finding myself with another perfect opportunity to squish my phobia, so I smiled and did not complain, I took the challenge head on!
I pulled on the dress; heart pumping, beads of sweat emerging, I was strapped into the hijab; pulse racing, pupils dilating and then… It was very interesting; there is a saying (and if there isn’t there should be) “The suit make-th the man”. As an actress I have found this to be true. “The Quran specifies that a woman should be modest and cover everything but her face and hands” Well, once dressed and cloaked and draped in the way that I was, it made me feel modest, it made me feel gentle, calm and elegant.
In life we choose our paths but do we realize how immensely our clothing affects the way in which we deal with the world, and in turn the way in which the world deals with us?
I walked around Melrose Arch and people stared at me as if I were an alien. Which totally defeats what the Muslim woman are trying to achieve, by being wrapped up they hope not to stick out, they hope not to call attention to themselves but rather to blend into the background and yes, some of them really want to do that, they are not forced. “Whatever you choose to wear, remember that the purpose of Muslim clothing for women is to deflect attention. According to the Quran, women should be modest, and part of modesty is not drawing attention to oneself.” But in western society they do stick out like saw thumbs, we see them and we stare.
It reminded me of the time I lived in India and the time I spend in Dubai, I was stared at there too (even though I dressed modestly for a foreigner and always respected holy places), the local’s starred at me, constantly, unapologetically, without flinching or blinking or turning to blush.
That was the only difference, in South Africa we are taught it is rude to stare, but as humans we do it anyway, but when we are caught a blush and a swift removal of the eyes direction generally follows.
We all look at what is ‘different’, ‘uncommon’, ‘unfamiliar’ either with inquisitiveness, fear, curiosity, judgment, appreciation, or a number of emotions and thoughts, the point is we look, we look and we make judgments or stories up in our minds without approaching that ‘unknown/unfamiliar’ thing and actually finding out the truth. And I think, modestly, I think that the truth lies somewhere in between all the stories and all the truths. A cliché is only something, which has been known to be true so many times that it has now become a cliché, therefore cliché’s exist all around us and almost everything we think to be true, is true, somewhere in the world, or was true at some time. But we must also realize that it’s opposite will also exist and be true, always with no exception. Every human being has the ability to do both good and evil, in every walk of life you will find good and bad, in every single group, religion, organization, every single one is neither completely void of evil, and in the same breath none can be completely void of good. It is a fine balancing act, which is tipped from side to side as the universe/God/Allah (call ‘it’ what you will) attempts to maintain balance, which is the natural order of things. Everything is based on perception and when there is more than one person, than there is more than one perception to take into account, somewhere in the middle is the truth. Like the saying goes “There are always two sides to a coin, but the coin is the whole story”- ok I added that last part, but I believe it to be true.
I challenge you all to challenge yourselves to seek out the other side of the coin and hopefully when you find it, the two halves will give you a glimpse of its centre, and you will be filled with compassion and understanding... because in the centre we are all just humans, made of varying degree's of good and bad, all with needs, wants, desires, dreams and things that piss us off about ourselves, we all get frustrated and happy and sad and mad and we are all just simply ... trying to be happy. As the cliché goes: "Happiness is a journey not a destination" Enjoy the ride!
Happy open minded days lovely friends, may your hearts and minds be enriched by life’s offerings…
An interesting site where I got some quotes:
http://www.muslim-matrimonial-guide.com/Muslim-clothing.html
