Monday 10 December 2012

Thoughts about Sex...(please be advised this post is not for kids!)

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On a daily basis I am confronted by various people and their perceptions on the importance, sanctity or value of sex. We live in a day and age where it often feels like a "Beatles free love recital", everyone seems to be "sharing the love" and I don't mean from an emotional point of view, I mean sexually.

Sorry, I had to! I mean what the what??? This must be set up as a joke right?
Too many people today seem to value the importance of a kiss on the same level as that of a handshake, and the value and importance of sex, now seems to holds the value of a kiss....Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sex; one of the hardest parts of being single is not having "sex on tap" (which I pretty much had until last year and boy have I been feeling the drought!)

So I completely and utterly understand the need, desire and want. Sex is fantastic, all the different kinds should be had; deep passionate love, crazy wild hot sex, quickies that just cant wait (and get you in trouble for being late again), marathon sex, lazy sex, angry sex, hang over sex, I was with my ex for a Looooooong time, trust me we covered it all many, many times. But he was the love of my life and I cant help but acknowledge the one big difference of how it feels when you actually love the one you're with…
I don't even know what that means exactly... mmm... blush!
Yes, sex is a physical and sometimes you just need that physical fix, sex can be “just for fun” and that’s fine, it’s healthy, its great! But so many seem to be denying that sex holds value; Sex has been diminished to some kind of fun common activitie that you should experience with all your friends and their friends and cousins, aunts uncles, etc. So many woman say they are ok with not being called the next day, every one of them that I know at some point has a twang of rejection. Yes, some brush it off, some collect it deep inside, but the pang of rejection happens, be it slight or earth shattering, there is no denying it has been felt. And if there is denying it soberly, then a chardonnay confession often creeps in.
A lovely friend of mine once said: "In a relationship, men need sex to feel loved and woman need to feel loved to want sex" yes there are exceptions with all the gender role reversals we see more and more today, but essentially, our masculine side needs sex, physical touch, to feel loved and our feminine side needs to feel loved to want to touch, cuddle and have sex. Sex is one of the essential ways in which we communicate love (in an incredibly fun, feel good, powerful way).
Sex is also one of the most intimate things a man and woman can share, because it is the very action that creates life. And when a child is created by two individuals, it bind's three souls together for a life time, whether they like it or not, they will be linked... 
So make sure you want your kid to have "his" "sexy jaw line that comes with his need to be right, pain in the ass attitude and low IQ" and "her" "bodacious bosoms that come with her laziness and Princess attitude!" (sorry those were the first things that popped into my head, but you get my point - aim high!)
Many people today have forgotten this fact, it seems to have evaporated with the modern day contraceptive cushioning the conscience, so the creation of life as a result of a drunken night of fun, is no longer a concern and if theres a woops well abortion is readily available too! It just seems a bit nuts to me... and yes, of course “practice makes perfect” and you shouldn’t buy a vehicle until you’ve “test driven it” a few times, but that doesn’t mean you should “practice test driving all the vehicles”… or should you? You guys still with me? I hope so… 
Yes, this could happen to you!
I’m not saying don’t have sex, You should have sex as often as possible, (perhaps preferably with the same partner) even if you are not in the mood, just do it, because you will remember quite quickly, how much fun it actually is! I’m just saying, be fully aware and conscious of what you are actually doing and how it is truly effecting you…

I say all of this with no judgment at all, I have always believed that each individual should live within their truth and that their conscience will guide them, it is just that I am questioning whether we are even aware of what our conscience is trying to tell us anymore… do we even care? And if we don’t, what does that mean ten years from now? Has everything just become so overexposed that we have become numb and blind to certain realities because its easier to live without your conscience's constant blabbering ... Is sex really meaningless? Personally, I think not…

I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings, what do you all actually think and feel? Am I alone in my train of thinking? Do I make sense? Perhaps I am just a hopeless romantic who knows, maybe I am living in la la land, I don't know... but its been on my mind so I thought I would share it with you...


You are welcome to e-mail me anonymously on info@susanakennedy.com 
I look forward to your insights and contribution
Stay well and happy and thanks so much for reading

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