To Love At All Is To Be Vulnerable

Love this so had to share <3

Do you want to find Real Love?

You know the moment your eye's meet "the one"? The one that defines that moment in life as a turning point, it is the moment that changes everything because life begins a new chapter. You know that nothing will ever be the same again because before that moment there was life and now there is life with this person in it and so your old life fades into a distant dream of what was and you become submerged into a now that is. It is inescapable, you cannot go back or turn away and deep within you as much as you may want to resist, you are helpless to the power of what now is... of who now is before you, within you and a part of you. Your new life has begun and with it come the excitement the joy, the passion and fulfilment you have always been looking for. You have never felt so happy, so in love, so whole, so alive - this is the 'Romantic Love' phase and it is magnificent.

Have you ever wondered why? Why every relationship goes through this magical phase? I mean is it all just a trick, some cruel joke by the universe or a treacherous chemical reaction in our bodies deluding us into an ecstatic state of being just long enough for us to procreate? Why do we go through this 'magic' only to be struck down by the reality that the person we have 'fallen in love with' is a human being and extremely flawed?!?! I mean what kind of a sadistic joke is that to play on people? You know what I'm talking about, yes, you! You've had your heart pulverised enough times to know the drill, your reality and perception of love is fully tainted with fear, with doubt and apprehension. Possibly even to the extent that you've decided to forgo relationships completely... I know in the past I have.

See full strip here, its brilliant: http://theunboundedspirit.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/love-gandhi.jpg

But what if you knew a secret that made all the heart ache, all the trials and tribulations, the insecurities, apprehension, fear, doubt and yes even the pain, worth while... what if you knew that 'Romantic Love' was actually a glimpse of what could be and that this awful fall from romantic love and bliss, into oblivion was the essential key to you not only getting back to the feelings you experienced while in the 'Romantic Love' phase but even greater than that, they would be multiplied and it would give you the opportunity to heal all your previous trauma's and move into a space of complete fulfillment, trust and peace... would you do things differently? Would making the effort suddenly become worthwhile? 

Imagine if we all knew that when we met someone and felt they high's of the 'Romantic Love' phase that it fuelled us because we knew these feeling would not only come again but they would be multiplied and depend beyond what we are even capable of imagining. We realised this was a taste of the relationship's true potential and because of this realisation we stayed... 

I believe that relationships are the reason we are here. Life is made up of relationships; with our parents, our friends, the rest of our family, with animals and the world around you... and the two relationships that can change your life the most are, number 1: The relationship you have with yourself and number 2: The love/romantic/soul/life partner/treasured relationship you experience with another human being, the one who you ultimately spend the largest span of your life with. But have you ever stopped to ask why, why we have this need or wish, or pull, or necessity, or whatever it is, to spend our lives with another person? I believe it is because it is through this specific relationship that we are given the opportunity to face our deepest wounds and if the challenge is accepted and we work together we are able to heal and find the wholeness, the peace and fulfillment that we have always consciously or subconsciously craved.

So now, knowing this, will you give yourself the opportunity to “fight the good fight” to stick it out and work through the tough times? The two essentials to feeling whole, content, happy and at peace are self-love and the healing of life’s wounds. Learning self-love you can do alone but the healing of wounds is only achieved through relationships… isn’t it time you set yourself free. Isn’t it time you put on your big girl/boy pants and faced the music so that you can actually move beyond it?

If the answer is yes, then remember, we attract the exact perfect partner who will bring up all our wounds, all the things that hurt us and still do and we will be doing the exact same thing for them – you are as much as source of pain to someone else as they are to you. If you are both willing to work through it, I am not saying it is going to be easy, because it isn't but you will have the perfect partnership to heal and find a new way of being beyond what you ever thought possible. Isn’t that worth the risk? 

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I can't help but think back to my last relationship, how crazy we were about each other, how magical our 'Romantic Love' phase was... how long it lasted, far beyond the usual 3 to 4 month period... how when it did end I was faced with my wounds and panicked and reacted and how heart broken I was that he wasn't ready or willing to work through the hard stuff, to stretch himself and grow beyond his wounds. I can't help but feel my heart swell with sadness... if that was a taste of what could have been, how incredible being brave could have allowed us to be... I have to catch myself and accept that it was obviously not meant to be, but I admit it is hard to do... 

Now almost a year later, it's time to begin again. I must say this new knowledge and understanding is a huge source of comfort as I prepare my heart to open once more, to be brave once again. In fact it makes me really excited, I mean if that was a glimpse!?!?! Then wow...Oh my goodness...Yipeeed!!!! I guess it all begin's with you... and then, finding someone equally as brave, that's the tricky part and the key, you both need to be equally willing to move through the pain and the bliss hand in hand... witnessing, supporting and loving, that is the majesty and the unequivocal gift of a committed relationship... So my dear readers, my wish for you is, I hope this understanding brings you some comfort and understanding, courage to fight harder, hope because things can be different and even excitement because now you know the possibilities. 

May you be brave enough to find, fight and live in love with one person, after all, as the Beatles said "Love is all you need". 

Be happy, live in compassion and love

Namaste

Susana

ps. This blog was inspired by my understanding of the theory's of International best selling Author and Relationship Coach Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, they are also the creators of the revolutionary Imago Relationship Therapy. For books that have been a great source of insight and assistance, check out their website http://harvilleandhelen.com